


When You Give a Xavier an Automobile

by Schweigsamkeit



Series: Auslander [1]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: But Mostly English, Calm Down Erik, Charles Can't Drive, Erik is not a Happy Bunny, Foreign Language, Gen, German Language, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, Languages, Poor Erik, Sassy Raven, Sean is a Troll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 22:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4539162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schweigsamkeit/pseuds/Schweigsamkeit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles can't drive. Somehow Erik gets the short end of the stick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Give a Xavier an Automobile

**Author's Note:**

> I also write prose, poetry, and fiction on WordPress, check it out here: https://zauberary.wordpress.com/

_This,_ Erik thinks, _was a horrible idea._  
  
Charles and Hank had wanted to go to some world class East Coast modern science conference in New York City.  
  
Raven had wanted to go to New York City.  
  
Sean and Alex had decided it couldn't hurt to tag along, because a week at home just wasn't the same as a week in New York City.  
  
Erik was a responsible, if not distant, adult. Therefore he had been recruited to keep an eye on the Three Musketeers while they tried their hardest to get into wild shenanigans in New York City.  
  
The biggest problem with this entire situation is as follows: the whole group of them hasn't been out of the house for more than fifteen minutes, and chaos is already reigning supreme.  
  
In fact, chaos has been the word of the day since around six that morning. Chaos was what had roused Erik from a wonderful dream which he now can not remember. He is certain, however, that it had been absolutely _inspired._  
  
He is currently sitting in the front seat, wishing desperately that he could've had some breakfast and thereby wouldn't be so viciously hungry that he is actually considering a McDonald's meal. The rest of the car is just as hungry as him, though, so it's only a matter of time—  
  
"Mickey D's, next exit!" Sean shouts, because of course shouting is one-hundred-percent necessary in a Honda hatchback.  
  
"Maybe they'll sell chargers," Raven comments hopefully. She's forgotten hers at home and has been begging them to turn around ever since she discovered her mistake.  
  
"I doubt it, Raven, unless the restaurant is in a gas station," Charles points out. He pulls into the left lane with a jerk of the steering wheel and drills the engine until it whines like an animal in pain.  
  
_Charles,_ Erik thinks, _should not be in possession of a license._  
  
"McDonald's is crap," Alex grumbles sourly. "Let's do Jack in the Box."  
  
"How about _we_ do McDonald's, and _you_ can walk to Jack in the Box?" Raven suggests. She's probably serious, too, considering how irritated she is with her phone situation.  
  
Charles passes a freighter truck and swerves back into the center lane. "We can go through more than one drive through, you know."  
  
Erik notes the exit approaching. "Exit, Charles," he says.  
  
"We've got till four tonight to check in at the conference," Charles continues, oblivious.  
  
"Exit soon," Erik repeats, a bit more loudly.  
  
"But we have to check into the hotel, too," Hank points out. He is squished in the middle between Raven and Sean, and seems quite miserable about it.  
  
"Yes, but we could also check in after we go to the convention center," Charles replies.  
  
"Exit. Exit here." They are practically on top of the off-ramp.  
  
"We should check in first," Raven suggests. "I think—"  
  
" _Ausfahrt hier!_ " Erik yelps, holding onto his seat for dear life in preparation for Charles' horrible driving.  
  
" _What?_ " Charles shouts back.  
  
"All the farts get out!" Sean yells. "Hank, that means you!"  
  
Hank covers his ears in desperation.  
  
" _Rechts,_ right, right, _Ausfahrt, raus,_ go out!" Erik presses himself into the seat as Charles swerves across two lanes of traffic, cutting off a U-Haul van, and stands on the brakes as they glide up the exit ramp like the hatchback has wings. The light at the intersection is red and once they have skidded to a stop they all sit there in silence for a moment.  
  
Erik pries his hands away from the door and carefully checks himself for injuries.  
  
Sean finally manages to stop laughing long enough to breathe.  
  
Hank remains petrified, and Alex, observing him, hypothesizes that he must be regaining control of his bladder.  
  
Raven has grown up with Charles and so handles his insane driving like a pro.  
  
Charles turns to face Erik, apparently unfazed by their most recent near-death experience, and says, "Erik, I hate to tell you this, but I really don't speak any German. At all."  
  
" _What the heck is an aus-fart?!_ " Sean gasps, mimicking Erik's accent with surprising accuracy, given his oxygen-deprived state. "Is that an _invitation?_ Should I eat some beans or something?"  
  
"It means exit," Hank explains quietly.  
  
"Shut up, Hank," Alex grouses, rolling his eyes.  
  
Erik chooses to completely ignore the situation in the back seat. Instead he looks over at Charles and says, "I am getting a license. Your driving will kill us all."  
  
Raven finally looks up from her phone. " _Thank_ you. He won't listen to me."  
  
"What was I supposed to do?" Charles whines. "He was shouting directions at me in German!"  
  
Sean snorts. "Hey, give him a break, he just needed to get out and fart. He wanted to make sure you heard him correctly."  
  
Erik sighs and glowers out the window. _Three whole days. This was a terrible idea._


End file.
